Hi I am dating and relationship coach Kate Junwald. My mission is to help women succeed in relationships and meet and marry their Mr. Right. I do that by helping you date with self esteem and avoid man pain! Today I am talking about things you can do to AFFAIR PROOF your relationship. Take my short quiz to see if your relationship is affair proofed! Here are 8 ways to affair proof your relationship. Some are easy, and some are not! 1. Pick wisely Most men will not cheat on a woman they love, especially if the woman did nothing to force the relationship or “trap” him into commitment. However, a small portion of unsavory men out there will cheat on us no matter what we do. Usually we can detect this type of man in the early stages of dating. If a man shows signs of infidelity while we are dating him, then it’s up to us to rule him out immediately. Buy-bye. If we choose to accept his behavior by marrying him, then we have, ummmm, chosen to accept his behavior. We shouldn’t expect him to change. This is one of the reasons we date—to find out whether we should commit to him. If he strays while we are dating, then he almost certainly will when we marry him. 2. Avoid worrying about infidelity If we have decided to love a man, and we’ve determined he’s not one of the unsavory cheating types, then we should try to trust him completely. That means not looking at his phone when a text comes in, not going through his stuff, and definitely not logging into any of his online accounts (which is actually illegal). This type of behavior, paradoxically, may even drive him to cheat. Chronic jealousy is a hard thing to live with. It’s like living on eggshells. You are always having to prove your innocence, and that’s no fun. So, don’t be that woman who is always questioning whether he finds another woman attractive or checking up on him. The answer may be “Yes” he does find the woman attractive, and that’s actually OK. Our guy should be allowed to find another woman attractive! If he loves us, he loves us. We don’t have to worry about him and the less we do, the better. The greater our trust in him, the more likely he is to love us and be loyal to us. If we act with complete trust, AND he happens to cheat, then sooner or later that type of behavior will make itself known to us. So we might as well trust him completely until we can’t. 3. Look like you used to Some of us gain weight over time, especially if we are happy in a relationship, and we feel like we can quit trying so hard. If a guy is in love with us, he will not cheat on us for that reason alone. However, if the way we look makes us not want to have sex, then that can add to the impetus of him wanting to look elsewhere. Sex is a requirement for pretty much any male and he can be driven to go get sex elsewhere if he isn’t getting it at home. It’s also a bait and switch on our part if we looked one way when he first started dating us, and then we gain 50lbs. If we want to affair proof our relationship, we should aim to look the best we can and as close to the version of the woman he first started dating. This may be slightly unfair given that he may also not be as impressive in the looks department as he used to be. However, to affair proof our marriage, we should remember how important looks are to men. 4. Appreciate him Men love to be appreciated by the woman they love. He doesn’t receive that kind of appreciation from anyone else. If he doesn’t get it from us, then all it will take is some women hanging around him who does seem to appreciate him to strike up a “friendship”. Both of them may think the friendship is innocent and couldn’t possibly lead to anything more, even though he hasn’t bothered to mention anything about it to us. But this is how most affairs start, through an “innocent” friendship. If we want to affair proof our relationship, we should start immediately by thanking him for the many little and big things he does, whether it’s opening our car door, taking out the trash, or paying the bills. I realize some of us may not think he does that much and that he shouldn’t need to be thanked and appreciated for every little thing, but if we are going for some affair-proofing, this is what it takes. 5. Meet his sex needs Most men love sex, especially—if he’s in love with us—sex with us. He must have sex, and he will need to get it from us or someone else. We don’t like to think of men being this way, but they are biologically hardwired to have sex. If we want to affair proof our relationship, the best way to do that is to make sure the frequency and intensity of his sex needs are being met. Sex is also how men feel close to women, whereas many women can get by with a little cuddling or even some deep conversation. Men will go weeks and maybe even months without sex for a woman they love, but sooner or later, the day will come where he will get it from someone. 6. Meet his companionship needs Men must also feel that they are with their best friend. They want the woman they love to go to the game with them or watch it on TV. Women tend to view men as not needing their companionship in this way, but they do. If a woman is not her man’s best friend, he may seek that companionship elsewhere. That’s not to say that he can’t get some satisfaction from his guy friends, but it’s not the same as the female companionship of a woman he loves. 7. Respect him A disrespectful woman, over time, will drive a man to cheat. Of course, our guy is going to irritate the crap out of us at times, but hopefully we aren’t staying with a man whom we do not respect. We should avoid criticizing him as much as possible, even if we think some of his ideas are hair-brained. We should speak well of him both to him and about him, especially when he is standing right there. Some of us think it's funny to tell jokes at his expense, but it's not. Any time we are with other people and can say something nice about our guy right in front of him, it’s a really special thing, because very few men get to experience this. Every man standing there will know he’s with a great woman. We should also try to accept his advice from time to time. Men love to fix things and provide solutions. If we can solve our problem using his solution, that will help him feel respected. 8. Be happy A chronically unhappy woman is very hard for a man to stay faithful to over time because men live to make their woman happy, and if he can’t do that he will feel like a failure. Some “happy” woman who is hanging around him, especially one he thinks he could make happy could be quite alluring. That’s not to say we women can’t have our moments of sadness and upset. In that setting, our guy can be our hero and cheer us up. But chronic unhappiness over time is going to strain the relationship, especially if we make him the cause of it. Of course, we may feel that our guy needs to shape up in order to make us happy. That may be true, but we should really work on making ourselves happy. So many of us women are overworked and do more than our fair share with the kids and household. It’s easy for us to feel resentful. But it’s up to us to take time out for ourselves each day and do whatever it takes so that we can stay happy. Our relationship will be better off for it. Our guy will take credit for our happiness, and that’s OK. He will remain faithful if he feels he can make us happy. Sign up for more blog posts like these. Check out my courses on dating, marriage, and relationships. Wishing you love and happiness, Kate Junwald www.katejunwald.com Ever wonder what’s the best way to act on a first date? Are you tired of thinking a date with a new guy went really well only to never hear from a him again? It could be you are unknowingly doing something to turn him off. Check out my free course, First date Mastery. I cover the ins and outs of how to be successful on a first date with a man you like so that he will call you again. If you take this free course, you will feel more confident and you will increase your chances that he’ll ask you out again. Do you have a question you’d like to be answered on the podcast, please go to https://www.katejunwald.com/podcast/. You can leave a voicemail there and I will answer it on the air. Are you tired of failed relationships? Do you feel as though you will never meet the right guy and get happily married? My online course, “90 Days to Mr. Right” is for single women wanting step-by-step guidance to help them meet and effectively date Mr. Right. Please go to my website at katejunwald.com for details.